My girlfriend and I were having sex the other day

[plommer]

Guy takes his wife to the Doctor...
The Doc says, "Well, it's either Alzheimers disease or AIDS."
"What do you mean?" The guy says, "You can't tell the difference?"



"Yeah, the two look a lot alike in the early stages... Tell you what.. Drive her way out into the country, kick her out of the car, and if she finds her way back, don't fuck her."

 

[Jello]

My wife being unhappy with my mood swings brought me one of these mood rings so she could monitor my mood.

We discovered that when I am in a good mood it turns green and when I am in a bad mood it leaves a big fucking red mark on her forehead

 

[plommer]

Mods please sticky this thread. Thanks.

bump for Brad.

 

[plommer]

bump for google

 

[reno cool]

ah that was a nice re-read. I love the sheep one

 

[SoV]

Hahahhahahahahahaha pissing myself at these. Shared some in chat too.

WE WANT

 

[Blitty]

Lebron James has an Iphone coming out named after him, it only vibrates because it doesn't have a ring!

 

[Mudcat]

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realised that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me.

 

[Rubyn]

Reminds me a picture of my nephew.

 

[reno cool]

here's one that stuck with me:

A Chinese and a Jew are sitting in a bar

Jew: Yeah, I don't care for yous guys too much. You bombed us there at Pearl Harbor.
Chinese: That wasn't us that was the Japanese.
Jew: Chinese, Japanese its all same to me

Chinese: Well I don't care for yous guys either. You sank the Titanic.
Jew: The Titanic? That wasn't us, that was an iceberg
Chinese: Iceberg, Goldberg, its all same to me

 

[plommer]

I see that Mr X. can relate.

I feel bad about this one now.

 

[RayRay]

why does she look like a chain smoking crackhead? are the X's heavy smokers?

 

[Tron]

Mrs. X is much better looking in person. Trust me.

RayRay, how many crackheads have you seen with teeth like that?

 

[RayRay]

she has crackhead eyes...dont mind me, i never liked the broad

 

[plommer]

 

[plommer]

 

[Blitty]

What's the gf been up to, ploms?

 

[bacon]

stong thread imo