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I moved to San Francisco

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On the plane headed back to Cali.

I cried the entire taxi ride to the airport. I really hope that I m making a good decision. I'm totally changing my life and making a 180 and its really scary. I'm scared that I won't be happy in San Fran or tht I won't find a Job or I won't make friends.

I just had the best weekend of my life in NYC. Everything was perfect. I had so much fun it was amazing. But the people who made it amazing are all moving too. JL is moving to CO, my friends who got married are moving away and my other friends are moving too.

Chris and I spent mon and tues together and it was incredible. I cried this morning when he kissed me goodbye.

I'm going to try to get back to NYC before JL moves (round thanksgiving) and will see him then, but I know that is going to hold me back from moving forward.

My life will be in San Fran now. I need to shut the door to NYC and only look forward. I need to put Chris out of my mind. Is over. For good. I moved. No point in lusting after him anymore.

I have never been nervous or scared to move. Ever. And I have moved A LOT. But right now I am scared and nervous and emensily sad.

It's the not knowing what's ahead. Not knowing how or when things will work out. I lived in NYC for 8 years, that is the longest I have ever lived anywhere. I made my own life there. I became an adult there. NYC is my home town in my mind.

I'm on the airplane trying so hard not to cry.

I know my life in NYC wasn't great and there is a reason why I chose to move. I just need to remember all that. But I'm leaving my loved ones behind. It's too late to change my mind. I feel like I made a hasty decision. But it is what it is. I've invested thousands of dollars in to this move, I can't back out now, and I don't have any good reason to.

I don't know how to get past this feeling though. I guess the best thing to do is throw myself in to San fran life and just go hard in SF making new friends, going to events, taking classes, looking for a job, join a volunteer group, whatever. If I stay busy then maybe I won't have time to miss JL and Chris.

Anyone else on here ever go through something like this? Please share.
 
HI hunny. I am sorry to hear you are so sad. :( :hug:
You friends near san fran, you'll get to see them, and you'll be closer to your parents, which I recall being one of the big factors in your choosing to move to the West Coast. Saying good by is always hard. When I finally left State college, even though I was only going an hour away, I was devastated. I still miss home, but I have learned to adapt and enjoy what I can about this place (which in this town isn't much). Change can be scary, but you are such a vibrant, beautiful, (sometimes silly) women, I don't see you having much trouble making new friends. I just gotta jump in and hope for the best. Have a little faith in yourself, realize it will take a you a few days or weeks to adjust to a new life, in a new place. It will be ok though, and it's not like this has to be permanent, if doesn't work out, you can always go home.
 
Whether we know it or not I beleive we all make decisions based on rational self interest. Sometimes wieghing the pros/cons is explicit and sometimes it isn't. I'm sure you made the decision to move b/c it was ultimately the best one for you. Also, circumstances can change and you can always decide to move again (back to NYC or even someplace new). I'm sure you'll be fine.
 
CaliGirlNY
Thank you cami, your words touched my heart. I know I'm emotional right now, but you made me get teary eyed.
Click to expand...

:smooch:
Things Cali gets to do:
drive around in the car YOU bought and check shit out
find new restaurants and food
once you get a new place, you get to decorate!
more time with your parents
hopefully a better job
warm weather
the beach
new bars/clubs
new men


see, not so bad!
 
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