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Complete stranger person in the grocery store talking to me to drag me into their frustration about something (long line etc etc): Get outta here with that shit. If I don’t know you, don’t talk to me about your “problems” because I will thousand yard stare off into the distance and not engage.
 
www.theonion.com

Kinky Girlfriend Wants To Try Sexual Pleasure Tonight

TULSA, OK—Saying that the admission represented a momentous new step in their relationship, advertising salesman Vince Fergus, 26, confirmed Wednesday that his “kinky” girlfriend had expressed interest in experiencing sexual pleasure later tonight. “I mean, I guess I’m game for whatever, but I...
www.theonion.com www.theonion.com
 
Didn't realize the IRS was so undermanned and underfunded. Remember hearing the saying at times "that you got a better chance of going to jail for not paying taxes than if you kill someone." It might become a reality.

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Just a portion of the article along with the ending.
The main targets will by necessity be the middle- and upper-middle class because that’s where the money is. The Joint Committee on Taxation, Congress’s official tax scorekeeper, says that from 78% to 90% of the money raised from under-reported income would likely come from those making less than $200,000 a year. Only 4% to 9% would come from those making more than $500,000.

The federal government isn’t starving for revenue. Congress wants more tax revenue because it can’t control its appetite for spending. That’s why it wants a tax agency in beast mode.

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