Hooligans Plays Baccarat

My Super Bowl Weekend

My numbers aren't spectacular this year, but you never know what is going to happen. Hope to at least get my money back.
 

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Which ones?

Stupid, useless ones mostly. Like if I am at a pharmacy, I might think about how easy it would be to go get some over-the-counter codeine and how that really wouldn't be so bad because I wouldn't be totally wrecked. It would just be a pleasant little jolt and I can still function and it's no big deal (I lie to myself until I think it through).

I don't seriously think about booze and druggy drugs because I know exactly where that goes. I am almost immediately impaired and stupid and unable to work/drive/function socially. And I don't stop. I know that. I have proven that to myself so many times that I am convinced to the core.

But I can sometimes lie to myself about stupid, useless drugs.
 
Stupid, useless ones mostly. Like if I am at a pharmacy, I might think about how easy it would be to go get some over-the-counter codeine and how that really wouldn't be so bad because I wouldn't be totally wrecked. It would just be a pleasant little jolt and I can still function and it's no big deal (I lie to myself until I think it through).

I don't seriously think about booze and druggy drugs because I know exactly where that goes. I am almost immediately impaired and stupid and unable to work/drive/function socially. And I don't stop. I know that. I have proven that to myself so many times that I am convinced to the core.

But I can sometimes lie to myself about stupid, useless drugs.

Muddy I can relate. Except that I was lying to myself about the perils of doing a gram of coke a day. How bad can it be, I only need to make an extra $600 a week and no one will notice a thing.

Muddy be careful.
 
Can't imagine having to deal with that type of problem muddy. Quite an amazing feat that you have been able to overcome such a horrible cycle of addiction. You screwed up by getting yourself into the mess but unlike most you have owned the problem. Kudos.