Hooligans Plays Baccarat

how may friends do you have

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It's weird. I have my buddy Bert whom I have known since I was 11

I've only known a couple guys named Bert in my life. Both are now dead.

Nowadays it seems unlikely that anyone you meet named Bert will be younger than 50.

Bert = old balls


don't get me started on broads named Betty. If you meet a lady named Betty she will be 70 at least, unless you live in Newfoundland or the Canadian Maritimes, where 12 year old girls named Betty are plentiful. Same goes for Margaret.
 
My Bert's name is not Bert at all. His name is Ian.

In grade seven he got called Ernie - because he had (and still has) a kinda round head like Ernie from Sesame Street - and somewhere through the years there was a gradual evolution to Bert.

I have periodically asked him if he has had enough of being called Bert, indicating that I have no objection to calling him Ian. His wife calls him Ian.

But no, still Bert.