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Is Having Kids Selfish?

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plommer

plommer

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"Most kids are going to grow up to be perfectly average. As much as we fill our kids' heads with grand notions and big expectations, most of them are going to live average, ho hum lives. Many of them will hate their jobs. Many of them will be in unfulfilling relationships and anti-depressants will fill their medicine cabinets. While some of them will be self actualized, successful, happy people, many will be out of shape, unsatisfied and live a life full of struggle and setbacks. Nearly one hundred out of one hundred parents goes into it dreaming of the possibilities that lie ahead of their children, but just like those who play the lottery and dream about what they would do with the winnings, most don't ever get the prize.

Now, it is at this point where if you already haven't, you might be thinking "what a negative outlook you have." And it is at this point that I would ask you to consider if negativity negates reality. Ask yourself what number out of any thirty average kindergarten students will achieve their dreams and live successful, satisfying lives versus what number will either live average ones or even toil away in hardship, poverty and malaise. Can you honestly say that more than half will fall into the first group rather than one of the last two? Is honestly assessing reality "negative" or just honest and free of ego/denial?

And so given this, are we giving our kids a gift when we give them life (the "gift of life" is a very popular phrase, especially among the religious) or are we sentencing them to 70-ish years of time to fill, most of which already slotted to be filled with responsibility and work? (And yes, I am aware how harsh the word "sentencing" is in this context. I used it for effect. Substitute in a less distressing euphemism if it makes you feel better.)"

http://magx01.blogspot.ca/2013/06/is-having-kids-selfish.html
 
I wouldn't say it's selfish, but yeah, there's probably some amount of delusional anticipation that your kid is gonna be so much better than you cause you yourself are gonna be so much better at parenting than your own parents were.

Also, the big thrill of having a kid, IMO, is to witness the combination of you and your spouse's genes. I can't wait to see how mini-Matty-plus-mini-E turns out to be. HUGH suspense and giddy anticipation.

I expect the kid to be equal parts smart and awkward, and I do hope that I'll do a better job than my parents did at socializing me properly from an early age. And yeah, I do think I'll do much better job.

Selfish? :redx:

A bit overenthusiastic? :greencheck:
 
Was waiting for someone to touch on this notion.

Someone should ask mother nature this and see how she's coping.

And matty of course its selfish. That little bundle of joy will probably utilise the services of 100's of little slaves throughout his life so why don't you adopt instead??

Its not like the WORLD doesn't have pre-existing issues with over-population or anything...
 
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what a shitty argument. I can just argue the glass being half full to counter this and say what if he/she does...

I was never pressured as a kid to be 1st place. Maybe it was my up bringing but my parents certainly never pushed me to be the lottery winner as this article describes. I'm not sure why people push their kids to do that anyway? Maybe I'm just the weirdo here.

What's wrong with be average? It's the experiences you have before you die that matter not the money, but I'm sure most americans would think I'm stupid for saying such.
 
I don't push my boys at anything, but I make sure they or at least my oldest does his homework. That's important to me. Sports?? I don't care if he hates it and decides to quit hockey or soccer. Both of them actually. My oldest is actually a good little skater/hockey player, but I never ever push him. All is say to them is go out and have fun. I see how parents act at the rink and some are fucking NUTS.
 
Matty
Also, the big thrill of having a kid, IMO, is to witness the combination of you and your spouse's genes. I can't wait to see how mini-Matty-plus-mini-E turns out to be. HUGH suspense and giddy anticipation.
Click to expand...

I understand this but what if your child lives a miserable existence? How much guilt will you feel?

I've known women that got pregnant because they wanted someone to love and to love them back and because they were in love with having a little person of their own.

Cute 3 yr old children eventually become senior citizens (hopefully) and if their lives are fabulous then the parent may get some satisfaction from it but if their childs existence is one filled with misery then I can only imagine the guilt

There is no right or wrong answer possible here as peoples opinions will definitely vary.
 
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