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Heartbreak

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This is the thread where we air our heartbreaks.

They will never stop happening. And this is where we will talk about it.

So sayeth The Lord.

I will always always always be heartbroken for the way I treated Robyn. I'm beginning to think that I will never have a feeling of calmness since then. I do not believe in karma, I just think bad things happen to everybody all the time. And I've had my share. But none have left me so unsettled as this.

I am scum.

Good people should not be allowed to mix with the likes of me. It's unfair.

Blah.
 
Smile_Now_Cry_Later3.jpg
 
Yeah I have not had my heart broken so much as I have caused heartbreak. My ex is at the top of that list. That was quite awhile back and we are good friends now and I have apologized and she has shrugged it off.

But it was pretty awful. She can shrug all she wants - I would have to be willfully blind to not see how it changed her.

You know, I can't even say it was totally my doing. Some of it I would file under stuff that the universe did.


But still, guilt. I have experienced a lot more guilt than heartbreak.

Don't know if that makes me lucky or what.
 
I happen to have a story of heartbreak and guilt from this very day if anyone feels like reading a bit.

One of my sister's cats died today. As anyone who loves cats knows, that is heartbreaking.

There is more to it though. When my sister moved in with her husband-to-be, they had 2 cats each. As can happen, the cats did not all get along with each other. A couple of the cats in particular started to pee all around the house.

Well that sucks. You can't have that. So those cats ended up having to be isolated in the basement a lot of the time. They didn't like it but they are cats and they are ruled by instincts and you can't just sit them down and explain how their actions have led to the crappy circumstance.

Unhappy cats. They still got attention but their world had shrunk drastically.

And then my sister got pregnant and along came Gamelive Nephew Andrew, so the isolation of the cats became even more strict. You definitely don't want the baby rolling around in cat pee.

They did what they could. They tried to find alternate homes for the cats. They asked me to take one and I declined (due in large part, topically enough, to the heartbreak associated with my own late cat, Mudcat). They ended up simply making the basement as comfortable as they could for the cats.

But with the new baby, the cats were neglected more and more. They were fed and things were kept clean no doubt, but there was not nearly as much love for them. And understand, these were cats that were used to being dearly dearly loved.

My sister is just one person - same with the husband - they had big new responsibilities and of course limitations. There is only so much time. The cats were the odd man out.

The cat that died today was the second one that finally just stopped eating and then died. It was not old or sick. It just stopped eating and died.

It is impossible not to have the phrase died of a broken heart come to mind.



Can you imagine the guilt and heartbreak? Ugh.