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Mudcat
I'm guessing you are just trying to get a rise with this because it is pretty ridiculous.
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Yes, though such an interpretation, specifically analysing a client's use of adjectives to describe the quality of their relationships, could be used via an adult attachment interview. Any interpretation of Caligirl's response could be supported by a follow-up question as to why her father is "amazing". I would be looking for actual examples of what made him amazing. For example, if he bailed her out of credit card debt that would not be amazing. For example, I'm sure a son whose mother gives him money for drugs, bails him out of jail, and calls in sick for him when he is high would be "amazing". The son may describe the relationship as amazing but has nothing of substance or responsibility to support such as ascertation. Those individuals simple don't know what a relationship is suppose to look like. Something you or I would describe as loving would be foreign to them, to engage would be on some level a rejection of his mother. Stepping away from the academic end of things, I would surmise that it be a rarity that someone who had "amazing" parents would find pleasure in cocaine use or engage in the repetitive destructive relational patterns which Caligirl has proudly broadcasted on this website.

Now that's my opinion. I'm sure with your own recovery history you have your own perspective. I'm a firm believer that excessive drug use, alcoholism, overeating, compulsive gambling, abusive relational patterns, etc. are the result of fucked up relationships, specifically the one we have with our parents and the one we witnessed them having with each other. Recovery involves awareness and acceptance, that is, an understanding as to why we do the things we do and making the necessary changes in our thoughts and behaviors as to not allow it to bring us down any further.
 
Oksana
I'm hoping it's just because of the word "amazing"? :dunno:

Because if not, I don't quite get it either since I did the same thing and I know my situation wasn't the result of any drama or trying to run from anyone.
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I don't know anything about you other than you're a responsible, single mother that would do anything to take care of her son. If you moved away from your parents you did it for a reason and not necessarily a bad one. Post some stories how Blitty owes you money for blow or how bad you want a dick and I'll change my opinion. By the way, I have nothing against those who like dicks or drugs....there is just a tactful way in which to go about describing it.

Salud!
 
InTheHole
Yes, though such an interpretation, specifically analysing a client's use of adjectives to describe the quality of their relationships, could be used via an adult attachment interview. Any interpretation of Caligirl's response could be supported by a follow-up question as to why her father is "amazing". I would be looking for actual examples of what made him amazing. For example, if he bailed her out of credit card debt that would not be amazing. For example, I'm sure a son whose mother gives him money for drugs, bails him out of jail, and calls in sick for him when he is high would be "amazing". The son may describe the relationship as amazing but has nothing of substance or responsibility to support such as ascertation. Those individuals simple don't know what a relationship is suppose to look like. Something you or I would describe as loving would be foreign to them, to engage would be on some level a rejection of his mother. Stepping away from the academic end of things, I would surmise that it be a rarity that someone who had "amazing" parents would find pleasure in cocaine use or engage in the repetitive destructive relational patterns which Caligirl has proudly broadcasted on this website.

Now that's my opinion. I'm sure with your own recovery history you have your own perspective. I'm a firm believer that excessive drug use, alcoholism, overeating, compulsive gambling, abusive relational patterns, etc. are the result of fucked up relationships, specifically the one we have with our parents and the one we witnessed them having with each other. Recovery involves awareness and acceptance, that is, an understanding as to why we do the things we do and making the necessary changes in our thoughts and behaviors as to not allow it to bring us down any further.
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Well put.

That wasn't the first time she's described her parents (or her father in particular) as "amazing."

She did that when I questioned her relationship with her parents too.
 
InTheHole
Your parents were so "amazing" that you moved to the other side of the country? In my 10 years of practicing psychotherapy I have never encountered a patient who described there parents as amazing, only the ones who had something to hide. You know, the father who was cheating on the mother with his secretary or drank in order to deal with the misery he called family. I'm not saying no one has "amazing" parents but it is a very telling adjective.

I would be curious as to why you don't have an amazing relationship with your mother as well. Did you father hate your mother so much that he invested all his time in you?
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Wtf u are sooooooo wrong! I have loving supportive parents who believe in me. My mom is my best friend, my dad loves my mom very much and my mom loves my dad vert much. I had a perfect childhood, like seriously great. I think my adult lifeis a reaction from growing up with perfect parents in. Perfect house with the perfect dog and all that.
 
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Oh btw I'm putting down the straw for the summer. So is Chris. We were sober all weekend. I drank still, he didn't, I didn't get drunk, just had a couple drinks. I have a friend in recovery and I asked him if I could join him in a meeting, he agreed. Here we go boys. Caligirl recovery.
 
CaliGirlNJ
Oh btw I'm putting down the straw for the summer. So is Chris. We were sober all weekend. I drank still, he didn't, I didn't get drunk, just had a couple drinks. I have a friend in recovery and I asked him if I could join him in a meeting, he agreed. Here we go boys. Caligirl recovery.
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Going to be tough when you take such a long term perspective. I would exercise caution trying to get clean from coke together with another person trying to do the same thing. What will you do when he shows up with a bag? What are you guys doing to replace the coke in your relationship? If you managed to get through this weekend perhaps it would be helpful to just tell yourself I am not going to do it next weekend, so on and so forth. It's not the same for everybody but continuing to drink will reduce your chances by 95%. It's a big step and a good indication that if you both are making a commitment to quit that things have become somewhat unmanageable. All I can do is wish you all the best.
 
Oh, and here is your perfect dog RJ

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InTheHole
Going to be tough when you take such a long term perspective. I would exercise caution trying to get clean from coke together with another person trying to do the same thing. What will you do when he shows up with a bag? What are you guys doing to replace the coke in your relationship? If you managed to get through this weekend perhaps it would be helpful to just tell yourself I am not going to do it next weekend, so on and so forth. It's not the same for everybody but continuing to drink will reduce your chances by 95%. It's a big step and a good indication that if you both are making a commitment to quit that things have become somewhat unmanageable. All I can do is wish you all the best.
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i went to a meeting tonight. then i went out and had 4 drinks with my best friend. now i want you-know-what.

you are right.
 
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