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Would you cut off your dominant hand for 1 million dollars?

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Obviously decisions are impacted by what we have, or will have already in terms of financial security. I have no kids. I will not be having kids. My dad is dead, my mother has more than enough money. My siblings are all millionaires. It's just me. I don't need to consider future generations, although I completely understand the concept of gifting and leaving a legacy. That was something that was instilled at me at a young age.

Cami, you are right about the prosthetic hand consideration. I was thinking about that myself. Also, when I say "would you cut" If I am the one who actually is doing the cutting, no way. If this is some sort of surgical procedure with anesthesia maybe. ...assuming the price was agreed upon.
 
IAG....are you're siblings helping financially with your mom? I don't mean to be rude, and you don't have to answer, I just know via personal experience, that family can really suck sometimes. I have the utmost respect for you though, taking care of your mom either way. Melts my heart. Screw my dad though, haven't seen him since I was three, nor heard hide or hair of him since I was six (and to my understanding never lived that far away either!). So good for you taking care of your mom despite any possible circumstances, and I know via some previous posts, how hard that has been on you....don't feel bad, I am on Zoloft too. Being grown up and responsible sucks sometimes. Ok, a lot of the time...

As far as Steve, Bacon=Steve=my fiancee, so no issue there! What exactly does FW have to offer over Rog, Saulty, or any other GL poster?
 
Cami. Thanks for your encouraging words.

Yes it can be tough....the Alzheimers world is so tragic...it's the "long goodbye" for sure. My brothers are awesome. They would help financially if needed, but mom has more money than she could ever spend, and I am paid thru a family trust so money is not an issue other than I never seem to have enough. Hopefully college football will be kind to me. They also are really the best sons...they live all over the country but they come to visit every 2 months at least. They are very appreciative of my decision which is actually not as altruistic as it sounds. My job of 18? years went away in a merger so the timing was good for me to come back and care for mom. We had had her in a memory care unit at an assisted living facility, but she was repeatedly falling there. Being able to be back in her home of 47 years is a true blessing.

Right now mom is pretty self sufficient..able to dress, feed and toilet herself. Basically I make her meals and give her her meds. The rest of the day I am free to surf the net in my pajamas (pretty much my dream job.) We have a gal come in 2x a week to clean, and mom goes to a "daycare" 2x a week, so I am able to get out 12 hours a week to get to the gym and do "me" things. The hardest part is not having your own life...being do any spur of the moment travel. I get back to Denver when I can (I still have a townhome there) but only feel comfortable being gone 2-3 days tops. I am going to Cabo in February ..all inclusive ...a gift from my brother....not sure how we will make sure mom is taken care of then, but no way I am turning that down. I did that last year and really regretted it...Anyway, long way around to say that I should not complain. I feel for the people who have a family member with Alz (or any chronic illness) and are not able to provide family care full time. The cost of a nursing home is over $90,000 per year for a shitty room and not great care. If you can't self pay (as many can't) you have to share a smaller shitty room with another Medicaid recipient. Those places are so depressing. Before I came home full time but visited frequently, I would visit mom in the nursing home and got to kinow many of the residents. It was really rewarding to learn from the older generation and they so appreciate any time you can give them.

Hope you are still with me Cami, got off on a tangent there. I'm sorry you had an experience with a rotten father...his loss for sure. I was born late in life to my parents..they were from a different generation than most of my friend's parents. ..hardly any divorce, tendency to save vs spend due to depression etc.. So many of my friends had different life experiences...many without a parent present during childhood...can't imagine how tough that must have been for you. You should take pride in turning out a great person despite circumstance. No wonder everyone wants you on their island! And congratulations on your engagement! I knew you and Steve/Bacon were an item but didn't know you were engaged...Awesome!

Thank you for the warm welcome btw..I try to respect the established GL community. I don't want to wear out my welcome. I know that you are a welcoming group though, and I am sure will be spending more time here. I know Nina from a while back..(.she rocks and cooks too! Heck maybe I'll just take you and her on the island..but who is going to squish bugs and kill things?)
 
I can't imagine how hard it must be too see you're mother in such a condition...it must be heartbreaking, but sounds like you have a wonderful and they are a great support system, so that is awesome! I also find it so great that you take care of her, it seems like people are so into their own little lives, that have little concern for family like that...which repulses me. Funny how life happens, out parents spend so much time taking care of us, and in the end, we take of them in return. Full circle I guess. That's nice that you get out and get some "me" time, that's important to have. Do you have friends and things there that come visit you? I think what you're doing is amazing, but it sounds lonely too... :( What was your career before you started taking care of your mom?

Thank for the congrats!

Hey, you did say pick three, Me and Nina only make two, you have one more pick!
 
Oh yeah...FW has to be the 3rd. A girl has needs. ;) He can also squish bugs and would pick me wild flowers.

Prior to this I was a a paralegal for 20 years. I had always planned on law school..even took the LSAT and did ok, , but after college wasn't sure I wanted to commit to another 3 years right then, plus the market was glutted..in hindsight I should have done it. Instead I moved to Denver for a paralegal program. I ended up in a difficult but great paying job with a collection firm. Essentially we sued people who didn't pay their bills...garneished their wages and bank accounts, liened their homes...bad guy stuff. I loved the company..not necessarily the work. I worked a lot with title companies and mortgage people, so I am familiar with your industry some as well. My niece is now a NYC attorney, and it will serve as a constant reminder of what could have been....life goes on...all part of the master plan.


It can be lonely Cami. if not for the internet/forums/facebook I would go stir crazy.the winter is especially depressing...hence the need for the anti depressants. I have had one friend come out and visit, and I do have some hs friends here that want to get together but there really is not a lot of time. IActually I have not been too motivated to hook up with friends from high school ..none of my closest ones are here... Most of my closest friends are in Denver and in Minneapolis and we have talked of some visits, but nothing has materialized..mostly because it's difficult for me to plan. Most of my social life is on the forums...especially the old SP chat room which is down to about 4-6 regulars...including FW....RR stops by occasionally..probably the only two you would know.

You are right about people not taking care of family. I think it's better in the South. Midwesterners kind of assume and accept they will go to a nursing home. Mom always said "Now when my time comes I want you to put me in a nursing home. I don't want my kids giving up their lives to care for me." Of course that was pre-Alzheimers . Actually mom was not unhappy in the nursing home,. She is very sweet and rarely complains, but it became difficult for us to think of her there alone and safety had become an issue. She has thrived here at home..she probably would be gone already if she had remained there.

Kato....You are solid as well. You have always been very kind, and you almost made the island list (truth!) but there were a few I knew better.
 
As far as a girl having needs, hence my choice of Bacon!

Paralegal is a good job, I don't get why people think collectors are so terrible, their are just doing their job, because you did pay your bills! duh!

Yeah I hear you about the winter time, winter sucks butt. I am the same way, I moved away and Steve and I often talk of visits there, but we never go. It's been years since I've been there. Meh, it is what it is, life happens.

My mother insists on a nursing home, I insist on her living with me...I guess time will tell, she's a healthy and strong women though, so I hope that it never has to come to that.

I am glad to hear she is doing much better at home, that's where people belong, IMO.
 
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